The laws of happiness and stress management

In this situation where the context of pandemic and confinement is proving to be anxiety-provoking for many, it is important to acknowledge the disruptions linked to the fact of navigating blindly without being able to plan serenely for the rest of the year. So, the idea here is to check how to act on this stress and find joy and serenity, in the current period but also in life “afterwards”.

By Jean-François Tatard – Photos: pexels.com, pixabay.com, pxhere.com / JF Tatard / DR

Sports consulting is a passion that doesn't make me a living. My real job is to support the performance of employees in a very solid American industry listed on the NASDAQ and which is developing in the veterinary market. A few days ago, I hosted a conference whose objective was to help everyone find a new meaning and regain serenity despite the context. I would also like to share with youtager some tips and the result of a method that works. But before we begin, what is stress?

What is stress?

Stress is actually a vital function. Its physiological and psychological mechanisms are there to put you in a better state… It is there to help you face a dangerous or difficult situation. It helps you adapt as best you can. It is essential to your survival. In fact, scientists talk more about an adaptation reaction.

Too low a stress level would actually be detrimental. There was also a study conducted on rodents that I managed to find that showed that if these small mammals were artificially inhibited by fear, they systematically sought to put themselves in danger. As if stress were actually essential. But then what kind of energy is it?

Good stress and bad stress

Good stress is what I call optimal stress.. The one that allows you to transcend yourself and achieve exceptional things. The one that activates adrenaline and endorphins, as well as other hormones that consequently increase the chances of success tenfold. Champions know it well. It is the one that allows them to achieve things that are normally unachievable. But it is also important to distinguish the threats from it if we do not take control of it.

There are two forms of stress that are threatening. Toxic stress and chronic stress. Toxic stress to begin with: it becomes harmful if it is activated at too high a level by pushing your biological reactions to the extreme. In fact, it will exhaust you physically and mentally by gradually undermining your efficiency. And then there is chronic stress. This is different from acute stress. Let's say that if it is activated at a reasonable level, it will help you deal with a complex situation. But when you make it last, it will cause a problem. It exposes your body to repeated secretion of stress hormones. Your stress response system is not made to be activated like that all the time.

How to act?

I suggest, as I did during my conference, to keep in mind a 6-step strategy that will allow you to reduce your stress in a sustainable way in general.

• STEP 1 

When you feel overwhelmed, you may lose confidence.The problem is that this can impact your productivity and make you less efficient. I suggest you to recongive rise to the warning signs of excess stress: anxiety, irritability, fatigue, loss of concentration, withdrawal, loss of appetite or conversely bulimia, etc. You must also reconThe causes are: fear of no longer being competitive, fear of gaining weight, fear of never having results again, fear of living without a goal, etc.

• STEP 2 

Start by taking stock of your own needs.. When your needs are met and taken care of, you are stronger and more resilient to stress. If you feel good physically and emotionally, you will be better equipped to handle stress without becoming overwhelmed. Take care of yourself doesn't mean you have to radically change your lifestyle. Even small things can improve your mood, increase your energy, and make you feel like you're in control of it all. Basically: one thing at a time and the more you make healthier lifestyle choices, free of constraints and clutter, the more you will have a substantial reduction in your stress.

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• STEP 3

Emotions are stupidtagious and as much as you diffuse around you the stress that inhabits you, as much you will soothe your nervous system by exchanging with calm and balanced people. Your interlocutor does not have to solve your problems, he just has to be good at listening to you. Nothing more! A good ear! You have to cultivate a solid support network in order to serve as a shock absorber against the stress and pressure of the results that you are currently experiencing. The more alone and isolated you are, the more vulnerable you are to stress. Like a potager, a social network needs to be cultivated… You all have a phone, get back in touch with these inspiring people!

• STEP 4

When stress starts to become debilitating, you can make substantial changes. This will allow you to regain control of the situation. Your ability to maintain control of yourself in stressful situations will also be greatly appreciated by others and will also facilitate even more fulfilling relationships. And this involves an optimization of time management. So, try to create a balanced schedule as best you can. Take a moment to list your responsibilities and daily tasks in full confinement. Don't overload yourself. Very often, you underestimate the time for an activity. So don't try to fill the day to the maximum. If you notice that your days are overloaded, sort between necessary tasks and desired tasks. And put unnecessary tasks at the bottom of the list or eliminate them! Make a list of the tasks you have to do and sort them in order of importance. Do the most important ones first. If you have to do something particularly unpleasant, do it first. This will free you up and the rest of the day will be filled with more enjoyable tasks. If a project seems insurmountable, divide it into sub-steps! Focus on one step at a time. Above all, don't do everything at the same time. Delegate certain responsibilities. You don't have to do everything alone. If someone else can handle the task, why not let them do it? Let go of the desire to control or master everything. By doing this, you will relieve yourself of unnecessary stress. Compromise! Sometimes a little flexibility can help create a more relaxed atmosphere and reduce stress levels for everyone.

• STEP 5

Even when pressure or fear increases, you can maintain control and confidence by understanding and cultivating emotional intelligence and skillfully managing emotions constructively. You will find this emotional intelligence in the ability to communicate with others in a way that reduces the differences between people, to rally people to your cause, to take care of others' feelings and reduce stress and tension in your relationships with people. Among all the skills to which your emotional intelligence is connected, we can identify 5 which are particularly interesting:

1. Becoming aware of your stress. For example: taking note of your habits and operations.

2. Stay connected to your experiences and communicate authentically with who you are and what you have.

3. Use body language : learn to better decipher the functioning of paraverbal communication.

4. Resolve conflicts in a healthy and constructive way. Don't let bad grudges build.

5. Developing your ability to meet challenges with humor and as if it were a game. Life is a game. Stop making us serious!

• STEP 6

Many of you make stress worse by cultivating thoughts and behaviors that don't help you. These bad habits need to be changed. Similarly, resist the lure of perfectionism. No project, no situation, no decision can be perfect. Trying to achieve perfection creates unnecessary stress. When you set unattainable goals or try to do too much, you set yourself up for failure. Just try to do your best, no one will ask us to do more. Don't try to control the uncontrollable. Many things are out of your control, especially the behavior of others. Rather than stressing yourself out unnecessarily about it, focus on what you can control. 

To conclude

Now that you know how to use your emotions even better, I suggest you take a moment of introspection. To use this period of imposed confinement to offer yourself this unique opportunity in your life to reflect on the meaning of your values. To develop a new art of living that will allow you to always find how to evolve happily… To never again let yourself be overcome by stress. To let your mind guide you towards what you really want to do with your life. To let your joy of living express itself and to definitively gain your freedom to orient yourself in the only direction that you have always wanted deep down.

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